1 00:00:03,090 --> 00:00:03,307 . 2 00:00:03,351 --> 00:00:04,917 - Whew. 3 00:00:04,961 --> 00:00:07,398 Okay, I'm ready. Do it. 4 00:00:07,442 --> 00:00:08,834 - Okay. 5 00:00:08,878 --> 00:00:10,880 - Come on. 6 00:00:10,923 --> 00:00:11,881 - I can't. I can't. 7 00:00:11,924 --> 00:00:12,882 - [sighs] 8 00:00:12,925 --> 00:00:14,492 Damn it, Sarika. 9 00:00:17,104 --> 00:00:19,062 Why will no one staple my hand? 10 00:00:19,106 --> 00:00:20,672 - Maybe if you told us why. 11 00:00:22,892 --> 00:00:24,198 - All right, listen, you dum-dums. 12 00:00:24,241 --> 00:00:26,548 The plan is to injure myself badly enough 13 00:00:26,591 --> 00:00:28,332 so I can be admitted to the hospital, 14 00:00:28,376 --> 00:00:31,292 where my high school ex, Meredith, works. 15 00:00:31,335 --> 00:00:34,034 Things were definitely flirty the last time I saw her, 16 00:00:34,077 --> 00:00:37,689 and if I can get her to show her caretaking side, well, 17 00:00:37,733 --> 00:00:42,738 that is gonna be my ticket to bang city. 18 00:00:46,394 --> 00:00:47,786 - Doesn't she have a boyfriend? 19 00:00:47,830 --> 00:00:49,353 - I'm sorry. Do you guys not look at these? 20 00:00:49,397 --> 00:00:50,920 He's crossed through. He's nothing. 21 00:00:50,963 --> 00:00:52,443 I'm the one that's perfect for her. 22 00:00:52,487 --> 00:00:54,097 Don't make me feel like I'm wasting my time up here. 23 00:00:54,141 --> 00:00:56,317 Now, who's gonna staple my hand? 24 00:00:59,450 --> 00:01:02,845 Yo, V-dawg, what's going on over there? 25 00:01:02,888 --> 00:01:04,760 - It's my house's security app. 26 00:01:04,803 --> 00:01:06,718 My parents are out of town, so I'm turning the lights 27 00:01:06,762 --> 00:01:08,851 on and off to keep robbers away. 28 00:01:08,894 --> 00:01:10,461 - Ooh, gimme, gimme, gimme. Let me see. Let me see. 29 00:01:10,505 --> 00:01:14,204 Wow. Whoa. Your parents are loaded. 30 00:01:14,248 --> 00:01:16,119 Explain your sweaters immediately. 31 00:01:16,163 --> 00:01:18,208 - I just like them. 32 00:01:18,252 --> 00:01:20,384 - Mm-hmm, all right, and this is in Toledo? 33 00:01:20,428 --> 00:01:22,299 - Yeah, Ottawa Hills. 34 00:01:22,343 --> 00:01:23,822 It's really nice. 35 00:01:23,866 --> 00:01:27,087 I know, because my father's whore lives there. 36 00:01:27,130 --> 00:01:28,827 She's a rich whore. 37 00:01:28,871 --> 00:01:31,395 - Okay, well, we're gonna have to unpack that at some point. 38 00:01:31,439 --> 00:01:33,745 But, V-dawg, parents out of town. 39 00:01:33,789 --> 00:01:34,877 When's the party? 40 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:36,792 - My parents said no parties. 41 00:01:36,835 --> 00:01:39,577 Plus, I don't really party. 42 00:01:39,621 --> 00:01:40,926 None of us do. 43 00:01:40,970 --> 00:01:42,145 - Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. 44 00:01:42,189 --> 00:01:43,842 Does this apply to everybody? 45 00:01:43,886 --> 00:01:45,279 That's crazy. 46 00:01:45,322 --> 00:01:46,845 A bunch of high school kids who don't party? 47 00:01:46,889 --> 00:01:48,847 No, no, no, no, no. Which one of you is gonna be 48 00:01:48,891 --> 00:01:51,807 the badass to pressure Victor into have a party this weekend? 49 00:01:54,462 --> 00:01:56,203 Parties are how memories are made. 50 00:01:56,246 --> 00:01:57,769 Nobody has memories about making good grades. 51 00:01:57,813 --> 00:01:59,510 They have memories about getting in fights 52 00:01:59,554 --> 00:02:03,601 and waking up in tunnels and crazy stuff like that. 53 00:02:03,645 --> 00:02:05,168 This is sad, man. 54 00:02:05,995 --> 00:02:07,823 Wow, I really thought today was gonna be different, 55 00:02:07,866 --> 00:02:08,867 but I guess not, huh? 56 00:02:08,911 --> 00:02:10,695 Just same old same old. 57 00:02:10,739 --> 00:02:13,437 All right, well... 58 00:02:13,481 --> 00:02:14,612 [together] Augh. 59 00:02:14,656 --> 00:02:16,919 - Ahh! Ohh! 60 00:02:16,962 --> 00:02:18,486 - One, two, three, four! 61 00:02:18,529 --> 00:02:20,531 - ♪ Next time I'll listen to my heart ♪ 62 00:02:20,575 --> 00:02:23,360 ♪ Next time, well, I'll be smart ♪ 63 00:02:23,404 --> 00:02:30,454 ♪ 64 00:02:30,802 --> 00:02:33,022 - You can't just use my name to get in here. 65 00:02:33,065 --> 00:02:35,242 There are actual sick patients who should take priority. 66 00:02:35,285 --> 00:02:36,634 - Well, yeah, no, I know, 67 00:02:36,678 --> 00:02:38,419 but you're the only one I trust here. 68 00:02:38,462 --> 00:02:40,290 Can I get a boo-boo kiss? Come on. 69 00:02:40,334 --> 00:02:41,683 - Not looking, not looking. 70 00:02:41,726 --> 00:02:43,989 Just kidding. I am looking. 71 00:02:44,033 --> 00:02:45,208 It's okay. I'm a doctor. 72 00:02:45,252 --> 00:02:46,818 Hi. - Hey. 73 00:02:46,862 --> 00:02:49,995 - Hey, just delivering a large earl grey to my main bae. 74 00:02:50,039 --> 00:02:51,127 - Ahh. 75 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,172 - This is my boyfriend Chase. 76 00:02:52,215 --> 00:02:53,695 Chase, this is Jack Griffin. 77 00:02:53,738 --> 00:02:55,914 - Oh. 78 00:02:55,958 --> 00:02:57,177 - Hi. - Yeah. 79 00:02:57,220 --> 00:02:58,656 The guy who peed on the hospital. 80 00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:00,441 - Yeah, well, when you've got to go, you've got to go. 81 00:03:00,484 --> 00:03:01,746 You know what I mean. Yeah. 82 00:03:01,790 --> 00:03:04,488 So, Mere, when did you switch to tea? 83 00:03:04,532 --> 00:03:05,837 You were always a coffee drinker 84 00:03:05,881 --> 00:03:07,448 back when we were dating. 85 00:03:07,491 --> 00:03:09,493 Yeah, oh, remember we used to always get lattes before class, 86 00:03:09,537 --> 00:03:10,799 and then we'd say, "See you latte"? 87 00:03:10,842 --> 00:03:12,888 That was so dumb. Why did we do that? 88 00:03:12,931 --> 00:03:14,194 We had a great rapport. 89 00:03:14,237 --> 00:03:15,630 - "See you latte." That is dumb. 90 00:03:15,673 --> 00:03:18,067 [cell phone chimes] - Oh, excuse me, guys. 91 00:03:18,110 --> 00:03:20,025 - That's okay. See you latte. 92 00:03:20,069 --> 00:03:21,679 - Oh, so a staple, huh? 93 00:03:21,723 --> 00:03:23,855 - Yeah. - How'd you manage that? 94 00:03:23,899 --> 00:03:25,640 Worksheet accident? 95 00:03:25,683 --> 00:03:27,642 Mere tells me you teach high school. 96 00:03:27,685 --> 00:03:28,773 - Yeah. 97 00:03:28,817 --> 00:03:30,471 Wow, she must talk about me a lot. 98 00:03:30,514 --> 00:03:32,081 I get it, though. I get it. 99 00:03:32,124 --> 00:03:34,475 Yeah, did she almost mention that I have a PhD in philosophy 100 00:03:34,518 --> 00:03:37,347 from Harvard, which no offense, makes me a real doctor? 101 00:03:37,391 --> 00:03:38,653 I mean, let's be honest. 102 00:03:38,696 --> 00:03:40,394 Anybody can do that knee bone's connected 103 00:03:40,437 --> 00:03:41,525 to the neck bone crap. 104 00:03:41,569 --> 00:03:43,135 - [laughs] - It's so-- 105 00:03:43,179 --> 00:03:44,615 - Jack, let me tell you, if you're knee bone's ever 106 00:03:44,659 --> 00:03:46,008 connected to your neck bone, I'd like you 107 00:03:46,051 --> 00:03:47,183 to come see me right away. 108 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:48,880 - Oh, that's a good point, Chase. 109 00:03:48,924 --> 00:03:50,926 That's a good point; hey, does it ever feel weird to you 110 00:03:50,969 --> 00:03:54,886 that your name is a verb that describes what rapist's do? 111 00:03:54,930 --> 00:03:56,540 - What? - That was the yacht club. 112 00:03:56,584 --> 00:03:58,890 They just called and canceled on us. 113 00:03:58,934 --> 00:04:00,501 We're doing a fund-raiser for the free clinic. 114 00:04:00,544 --> 00:04:02,024 This is a nightmare. 115 00:04:02,067 --> 00:04:06,071 - Everything's booked, the caterers, the valet. 116 00:04:06,115 --> 00:04:07,464 You know what? 117 00:04:07,508 --> 00:04:08,813 We'll do it at my place. 118 00:04:08,857 --> 00:04:10,337 - There are gonna be over 200 people there. 119 00:04:10,380 --> 00:04:12,121 - Wait, wait, I have a place. 120 00:04:12,164 --> 00:04:13,557 Yeah, it's huge. 121 00:04:13,601 --> 00:04:14,950 Yeah, I'm house-sitting for my friend Victor, 122 00:04:14,993 --> 00:04:16,821 who's a--an adult. 123 00:04:16,865 --> 00:04:18,780 - Are you sure it's okay? - Yeah. 124 00:04:18,823 --> 00:04:20,260 - That's great. 125 00:04:25,308 --> 00:04:27,571 - Ah, Victor, there you are. 126 00:04:27,615 --> 00:04:29,269 Uh, taking your house this weekend, big guy. 127 00:04:29,312 --> 00:04:30,792 - What? 128 00:04:30,835 --> 00:04:32,489 - Oh, you guys are doing "The Great Gatsby"? 129 00:04:32,533 --> 00:04:34,317 Yeah, he ends up dead in a pool. 130 00:04:34,361 --> 00:04:35,753 all: [groan] 131 00:04:35,797 --> 00:04:39,235 - Oh, and Daisy killed Myrtle. 132 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,628 all: [groan] 133 00:04:40,671 --> 00:04:44,458 - We're not there yet. 134 00:04:45,981 --> 00:04:47,417 - Oh, hey, guys. 135 00:04:47,461 --> 00:04:48,592 I need your help. 136 00:04:48,636 --> 00:04:49,767 So this is what's going on. 137 00:04:49,811 --> 00:04:51,552 - What the hell was that, Jack? 138 00:04:51,595 --> 00:04:53,467 - Yeah, you can't just throw your apple at the wall. 139 00:04:53,510 --> 00:04:54,903 What are you doing? Pick that up. 140 00:04:54,946 --> 00:04:55,817 - You missed, like, hard. 141 00:04:55,860 --> 00:05:00,648 [all speaking simultaneously] 142 00:05:00,691 --> 00:05:02,650 - I don't think so. I'm not a garbageman. 143 00:05:02,693 --> 00:05:05,348 - Hey, I need you guys to come to a little fund-raiser party 144 00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:06,741 I'm throwing this weekend. 145 00:05:06,784 --> 00:05:08,090 I need a little backup taking down my ex's 146 00:05:08,133 --> 00:05:09,787 douche boyfriend Chase. 147 00:05:09,831 --> 00:05:11,180 - Backup? 148 00:05:11,223 --> 00:05:12,616 - Yeah, it's also for, like, a really good cause 149 00:05:12,660 --> 00:05:14,879 or some junk, you know, so... 150 00:05:14,923 --> 00:05:16,620 And there's gonna be an open bar. 151 00:05:16,664 --> 00:05:18,143 - Mm, mm-hmm. - Ohh. 152 00:05:18,187 --> 00:05:19,406 - Now, I could get dressed up 153 00:05:19,449 --> 00:05:21,103 to go flirt with some do-gooders. 154 00:05:21,146 --> 00:05:23,323 - Right, well, we have been drawing from the same pool 155 00:05:23,366 --> 00:05:25,150 of losers for so long. 156 00:05:25,194 --> 00:05:27,849 We've got to mix it up, meet some quality guys. 157 00:05:27,892 --> 00:05:29,807 - Hey, if you're gonna bang somebody at this party, 158 00:05:29,851 --> 00:05:31,809 do my mind banging Chase? That would be great for me. 159 00:05:31,853 --> 00:05:34,464 - Whoa. - Don't tell her who to bang. 160 00:05:34,508 --> 00:05:36,423 - The fun part is me finding out night of. 161 00:05:36,466 --> 00:05:37,859 - Yeah, right, right. 162 00:05:37,902 --> 00:05:39,121 All right, I'll see you guys at the party. 163 00:05:39,164 --> 00:05:40,340 Oh, Ralph. 164 00:05:40,383 --> 00:05:43,604 - Hey, toga, toga, toga. 165 00:05:43,647 --> 00:05:45,388 I'm sorry; I couldn't help overhearing you 166 00:05:45,432 --> 00:05:46,520 talk about a party. 167 00:05:46,563 --> 00:05:48,173 - Oh, yeah, I'm throwing a party. 168 00:05:48,217 --> 00:05:50,001 - You know, my wife, Brenda, lets me out one night a month. 169 00:05:50,045 --> 00:05:51,481 - It's gonna be this Saturday. - Oh, that sounds fun. 170 00:05:51,525 --> 00:05:52,917 - Doing it to destroy my ex's boyfriend. 171 00:05:52,961 --> 00:05:54,266 - Oh, he... - When he thinks he can't be 172 00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:55,616 destroyed any harder... 173 00:05:55,659 --> 00:05:56,834 - Is this, like, a potluck thing or... 174 00:05:56,878 --> 00:05:58,314 - I finish him with something huge. 175 00:05:58,358 --> 00:05:59,750 - Would love to see that firsthand. 176 00:05:59,794 --> 00:06:00,969 - Yeah, yeah, I'm not sure what it's gonna be yet, 177 00:06:01,012 --> 00:06:02,405 but it's gonna be good. 178 00:06:02,449 --> 00:06:03,667 [bell rings] - Yeah. 179 00:06:03,711 --> 00:06:04,886 - All right, see ya, Ralph. - See... 180 00:06:04,929 --> 00:06:07,149 See ya. See ya. "See ya, Ralph." 181 00:06:07,192 --> 00:06:10,370 Wait, did not say "See you there, Ralph." 182 00:06:10,413 --> 00:06:11,719 Maybe he left the "there" part out. 183 00:06:11,762 --> 00:06:13,895 Maybe...okay, you're talking to yourself. 184 00:06:13,938 --> 00:06:16,680 You're frightening the students again. 185 00:06:16,724 --> 00:06:18,073 Go in your office. That's where it's good. 186 00:06:18,116 --> 00:06:19,901 That's where it's...good. 187 00:06:19,944 --> 00:06:20,728 Okay, here we go. 188 00:06:20,771 --> 00:06:23,208 [classical music] 189 00:06:23,252 --> 00:06:24,862 - [laughs] 190 00:06:24,906 --> 00:06:27,778 This--this is gonna be my ace in the hole. 191 00:06:27,822 --> 00:06:29,693 See, Meredith always loved that I played the piano, 192 00:06:29,737 --> 00:06:32,522 so I think what I'll do is, I'll have somebody just 193 00:06:32,566 --> 00:06:34,872 really drag this bad boy right in the center of the room. 194 00:06:34,916 --> 00:06:36,657 - Please be careful. - All right, V-sauce. 195 00:06:36,700 --> 00:06:39,181 I think we're all set. It's time for you to leave. 196 00:06:39,224 --> 00:06:40,661 - I feel like I should stay. 197 00:06:40,704 --> 00:06:42,402 - Come on. Look, it's fine. 198 00:06:42,445 --> 00:06:44,229 Everything's gonna be fine. You've got to let go a little. 199 00:06:44,273 --> 00:06:45,535 - It's not that simple for me. 200 00:06:45,579 --> 00:06:47,363 What if my parents find out. 201 00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:48,538 - You know what you say? 202 00:06:48,582 --> 00:06:50,235 You say, "I know about your affairs." 203 00:06:50,279 --> 00:06:52,499 That always works, and it will buy you a little time 204 00:06:52,542 --> 00:06:53,761 to think about your next move. 205 00:06:53,804 --> 00:06:54,805 But look, it's never gonna come to that. 206 00:06:54,849 --> 00:06:56,067 This is a sophisticated event. 207 00:06:56,111 --> 00:06:58,505 We're talking give garbage bags tops. 208 00:06:58,548 --> 00:07:00,550 - But my container only holds two, 209 00:07:00,594 --> 00:07:03,553 and they don't pick up until Wednesday. 210 00:07:03,597 --> 00:07:05,120 - Victor, I need you to talk faster, 211 00:07:05,163 --> 00:07:07,252 or if you're gonna keep the same speed, use less words. 212 00:07:07,296 --> 00:07:10,255 - Holds. Two. Wednesday. 213 00:07:10,299 --> 00:07:11,343 - Yeah, that'll work. 214 00:07:11,387 --> 00:07:14,390 - Can't. Do. Whole. Life. 215 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:18,699 - Look... [doorbell rings] 216 00:07:20,309 --> 00:07:22,354 - Victor, we don't care what you say. 217 00:07:22,398 --> 00:07:23,704 We're having a party. 218 00:07:30,014 --> 00:07:30,232 . 219 00:07:30,275 --> 00:07:32,582 - Oh, yeah, Jack. It's weird you're here. 220 00:07:32,626 --> 00:07:35,367 Whoa, this house is fancy. 221 00:07:35,411 --> 00:07:37,544 - Okay, listen, you guys got to leave, 222 00:07:37,587 --> 00:07:38,762 seriously, or you get Fs. 223 00:07:38,806 --> 00:07:41,025 Go... 224 00:07:41,069 --> 00:07:42,026 Oh--oh, no. 225 00:07:42,070 --> 00:07:43,506 Okay, no time, no time. 226 00:07:43,550 --> 00:07:45,073 Basement. Go. Now. 227 00:07:45,116 --> 00:07:46,988 Let's go. Follow me. Follow me. Follow me. 228 00:07:47,031 --> 00:07:48,772 Okay, all right, all right, all right. 229 00:07:48,816 --> 00:07:51,471 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 230 00:07:51,514 --> 00:07:53,037 Hey. 231 00:07:53,081 --> 00:07:54,909 - The guy who saved the night. 232 00:07:54,952 --> 00:07:56,432 - Ahh... - Oh, my God. 233 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,434 Planning this thing has literally been one 234 00:07:58,478 --> 00:07:59,696 unpleasant surprise after another. 235 00:07:59,740 --> 00:08:00,871 You really bailed us out. 236 00:08:00,915 --> 00:08:02,656 - Well, I was glad to help, yeah. 237 00:08:02,699 --> 00:08:03,918 You look beautiful, by the way. 238 00:08:03,961 --> 00:08:06,834 - Yes, she does. I already told her. 239 00:08:06,877 --> 00:08:09,140 - Yeah, this place is really nice. 240 00:08:09,184 --> 00:08:10,664 So what does your friend Victor do? 241 00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:11,969 - What does Victor do? 242 00:08:12,013 --> 00:08:15,277 He's a--he--he's done very well selling... 243 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:18,976 uh, little pieces of fur. 244 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:21,370 - Like pelts? 245 00:08:21,413 --> 00:08:22,458 - No. 246 00:08:23,764 --> 00:08:25,417 What are you doing a documentary about Victor? 247 00:08:25,461 --> 00:08:26,941 Get out of here. Come on. Don't worry about him. 248 00:08:26,984 --> 00:08:28,203 He's--he's doing good. He's doing good. 249 00:08:28,246 --> 00:08:29,770 All right, go--go host, host. 250 00:08:29,813 --> 00:08:31,554 [chuckles] All right, yeah. 251 00:08:36,603 --> 00:08:37,952 Guys, shut up. 252 00:08:37,995 --> 00:08:39,910 Shut--guys, shut--shut up. 253 00:08:39,954 --> 00:08:41,390 Shut up. They're gonna hear you. 254 00:08:41,433 --> 00:08:42,957 All right, Victor, is there a basement exit? 255 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:45,350 - No. There's also no bathroom. 256 00:08:45,394 --> 00:08:47,439 - God, okay, well, if Meredith sees a flock of geeks 257 00:08:47,483 --> 00:08:49,137 flying out of this basement, she's gonna know I lied 258 00:08:49,180 --> 00:08:50,399 about this place. 259 00:08:50,442 --> 00:08:51,792 Got to get you out of here somehow. 260 00:08:51,835 --> 00:08:53,794 Okay, maybe I stuff you guys all in boxes. 261 00:08:53,837 --> 00:08:55,970 Maybe--well-- - Mr. Griffin, hear us out. 262 00:08:56,013 --> 00:08:57,841 - No, Marcus. He won't listen if it's you. 263 00:08:57,885 --> 00:09:00,104 - That's true. - Mr. Griffin, you were right. 264 00:09:00,148 --> 00:09:02,454 We need to make crazy party memories. 265 00:09:02,498 --> 00:09:04,108 We want to end up in a tunnel. 266 00:09:04,152 --> 00:09:06,458 - Yeah, I am hell-bent on fighting tonight. 267 00:09:06,502 --> 00:09:08,591 - A lot of business deals are made over drinks. 268 00:09:08,635 --> 00:09:11,420 - And I want to do a panty raid. 269 00:09:11,463 --> 00:09:13,161 What? That's a thing. 270 00:09:13,204 --> 00:09:15,119 It's, like, in every '80s movie. 271 00:09:15,163 --> 00:09:16,512 - Please, boss. 272 00:09:18,732 --> 00:09:20,168 - Okay. 273 00:09:20,211 --> 00:09:21,735 All right, fine, fine. 274 00:09:21,778 --> 00:09:23,867 You guys can stay, but I won't have you ruin this party 275 00:09:23,911 --> 00:09:26,174 for me, so don't make a peep, and don't leave this room. 276 00:09:26,217 --> 00:09:27,871 This isn't some stupid farce. 277 00:09:27,915 --> 00:09:29,046 [doorbell rings] Ahh. 278 00:09:29,090 --> 00:09:32,049 Okay, bye. Shh. Just... 279 00:09:33,050 --> 00:09:34,486 - All right already. 280 00:09:34,530 --> 00:09:36,532 [all speaking simultaneously] 281 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:37,968 - Cheers. 282 00:09:38,012 --> 00:09:40,580 - Cheers. - Our first party. 283 00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:47,195 - Ooh, that dude could give me the news. 284 00:09:47,238 --> 00:09:49,197 Got a nice caboose too. 285 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:51,416 Oh, married. 286 00:09:51,460 --> 00:09:52,461 [groans] 287 00:09:52,504 --> 00:09:55,159 - Oh, I do love an older gentleman 288 00:09:55,203 --> 00:09:57,379 with a strong brow, you know. 289 00:09:57,422 --> 00:09:59,860 Oh, and--and so does his wife, okay. 290 00:09:59,903 --> 00:10:02,340 - It seems like everybody here is married. 291 00:10:02,384 --> 00:10:04,342 - I mean, what were we thinking? 292 00:10:04,386 --> 00:10:06,388 These are quality do-gooder men. 293 00:10:06,431 --> 00:10:08,129 I mean, of course they're all taken. 294 00:10:08,172 --> 00:10:10,566 - I know, there's a reason why all the guys in our usual pool 295 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:11,872 are still single. 296 00:10:11,915 --> 00:10:13,700 They've always got something weird going on. 297 00:10:13,743 --> 00:10:15,397 - Oh, like that guy Bruce 298 00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,529 who used to like to tongue your belly button. 299 00:10:17,573 --> 00:10:18,835 - Oh, God, yeah. 300 00:10:18,879 --> 00:10:20,402 He used to spend, like, ten minutes in there. 301 00:10:20,445 --> 00:10:22,056 I don't know what he thought was gonna happen. 302 00:10:22,099 --> 00:10:23,492 [scoffs] I want satay. 303 00:10:23,535 --> 00:10:26,451 - Girl. - Come on. 304 00:10:26,495 --> 00:10:29,629 - Ten minutes? Really? 305 00:10:35,722 --> 00:10:37,506 - [laughs] 306 00:10:38,072 --> 00:10:39,508 - Uh-oh. Look out there, tiger. 307 00:10:39,551 --> 00:10:41,162 I spent a lot of time on this event. 308 00:10:41,205 --> 00:10:42,511 I don't want you wrecking the place. 309 00:10:42,554 --> 00:10:43,904 - Oh. - I'm not wrecking the place. 310 00:10:43,947 --> 00:10:45,427 It was just a little fumble. I saved it. 311 00:10:45,470 --> 00:10:46,820 - You saved it from yourself. 312 00:10:46,863 --> 00:10:48,778 [chuckles] Ahh. 313 00:10:48,822 --> 00:10:50,345 Isn't Victor's place beautiful? 314 00:10:50,388 --> 00:10:52,303 - Oh, yeah. - Yeah, I-- 315 00:10:52,347 --> 00:10:54,654 I use it sometimes as an intellectual retreat. 316 00:10:54,697 --> 00:10:56,656 I tell you, I've gotten some of my best ideas 317 00:10:56,699 --> 00:10:59,267 sitting at that window right there staring at the sunset. 318 00:10:59,310 --> 00:11:00,964 - [laughs and coughs] 319 00:11:01,008 --> 00:11:02,662 Oh, sorry. I just-- 320 00:11:02,705 --> 00:11:05,316 that window actually faces the east. 321 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:06,753 So I guess you're telling me this is the only house 322 00:11:06,796 --> 00:11:10,060 in the world where the sun sets in the east. 323 00:11:10,104 --> 00:11:11,322 - No, I'm just saying-- 324 00:11:11,366 --> 00:11:12,497 - You know where north is, Jack? 325 00:11:12,541 --> 00:11:13,934 - Normally, yeah. - It's that way. 326 00:11:13,977 --> 00:11:15,762 - I just--I got a little turned around, 'cause it's-- 327 00:11:15,805 --> 00:11:17,067 you know, it's not my house. 328 00:11:17,111 --> 00:11:19,200 It's my friend's-- excuse me one second. 329 00:11:19,243 --> 00:11:20,549 [silently] 330 00:11:20,592 --> 00:11:23,465 - Okay, it's just a party. 331 00:11:23,508 --> 00:11:25,467 And we're about to go in. 332 00:11:25,510 --> 00:11:27,991 Jack will be happy to see us, so here we go. 333 00:11:28,035 --> 00:11:29,819 Here we--okay. 334 00:11:29,863 --> 00:11:31,342 All right, let them go. 335 00:11:31,386 --> 00:11:34,955 Let them go, and then you go, so here we go. 336 00:11:34,998 --> 00:11:36,173 Don't over think it. 337 00:11:36,217 --> 00:11:38,262 Okay, you're a cool party guy. 338 00:11:38,306 --> 00:11:39,873 You're a cool party guy. 339 00:11:39,916 --> 00:11:42,527 You're a cool party guy. 340 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:49,839 No, thank you. 341 00:11:49,883 --> 00:11:52,929 [laughs] 342 00:11:55,497 --> 00:11:59,631 Pardon me, okay, pot stickers... 343 00:11:59,675 --> 00:12:01,633 nothing. 344 00:12:11,643 --> 00:12:14,298 And you walked straight through. 345 00:12:16,648 --> 00:12:20,348 - Well, look at that, so fine. 346 00:12:20,391 --> 00:12:23,699 Put roses on my grave, for I am dead. 347 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:27,529 But let's hold for wife. - Mm, mm-kay. 348 00:12:27,572 --> 00:12:29,618 - Hold. - Mm-kay. 349 00:12:29,661 --> 00:12:30,793 Holding still. 350 00:12:30,837 --> 00:12:32,708 - Maybe she's in the bathroom. - Okay. 351 00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,275 - Give her five. - Okay. 352 00:12:34,318 --> 00:12:36,581 - Wait, he's not wearing a ring. 353 00:12:38,105 --> 00:12:39,193 - Oh, dibs! - Dibs! 354 00:12:39,236 --> 00:12:41,238 - Oh... 355 00:12:41,282 --> 00:12:42,544 - Ohh. 356 00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:44,764 - Hello. I'm Mary. 357 00:12:44,807 --> 00:12:45,939 - How are you? 358 00:12:45,982 --> 00:12:47,592 - Well, maybe you can talk to him later. 359 00:12:47,636 --> 00:12:50,595 - Mm-mm, no, she was faster on the draw. 360 00:12:50,639 --> 00:12:52,554 Now she gets him for life. 361 00:12:52,597 --> 00:12:55,209 And that's the rule of dibs. 362 00:12:55,252 --> 00:12:57,472 [sighs] 363 00:13:01,737 --> 00:13:04,827 - [upbeat electronic music] 364 00:13:04,871 --> 00:13:06,568 ♪ 365 00:13:06,611 --> 00:13:08,526 - ♪ Work it 366 00:13:08,570 --> 00:13:10,441 ♪ Come on girl 367 00:13:10,485 --> 00:13:11,747 ♪ Work it 368 00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:15,533 - Will you have my back when I plunk a bitch? 369 00:13:15,577 --> 00:13:18,275 - Uh, I don't know. I have soft bones. 370 00:13:18,319 --> 00:13:20,103 - I can't believe I'm drinking with my bully. 371 00:13:20,147 --> 00:13:22,758 - I'm so sorry I used to throw your backpack in that pond. 372 00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,629 It wasn't about you. It was my stuff. 373 00:13:24,673 --> 00:13:26,240 - Yeah, I understand, okay. 374 00:13:26,283 --> 00:13:27,850 I wear these dark clothes, 375 00:13:27,894 --> 00:13:29,721 'cause I'm trying to figure out who I am, but underneath it, 376 00:13:29,765 --> 00:13:32,028 I'm just a guy who loves to dance. 377 00:13:32,072 --> 00:13:33,813 ♪ 378 00:13:33,856 --> 00:13:36,554 - ♪ Jerk back, give me some more ♪ 379 00:13:37,642 --> 00:13:39,383 - I love you guys too. 380 00:13:39,427 --> 00:13:41,124 I'm so drunk. 381 00:13:41,168 --> 00:13:42,734 - We love Victor. 382 00:13:42,778 --> 00:13:45,302 Hey, man, V, I've got to pee so bad, so... 383 00:13:45,346 --> 00:13:47,043 - Oh, oh, I know. I know. 384 00:13:47,087 --> 00:13:49,089 Me too, so bad. 385 00:13:49,132 --> 00:13:50,438 - Me too. I've got to go. 386 00:13:50,481 --> 00:13:52,570 - Oh, oh, we can't go upstairs. 387 00:13:52,614 --> 00:13:54,529 We--we just have to hold it. 388 00:13:54,572 --> 00:13:56,096 - Hi, hi, hello, hi. 389 00:13:56,139 --> 00:13:58,533 You guys hear me? 390 00:13:58,576 --> 00:14:00,361 Great. My name's Jack Griffin. 391 00:14:00,404 --> 00:14:04,321 Or as some of you may know me, the guy who saved the night. 392 00:14:04,365 --> 00:14:06,889 [laughs] 393 00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:09,457 Anyway, I just wanted to raise a glass 394 00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:10,893 to the lovely Meredith Covey, 395 00:14:10,937 --> 00:14:13,591 and, of course, to this wonderful cause. 396 00:14:13,635 --> 00:14:15,637 And what does a free clinic need? 397 00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:18,596 How about a few of my favorite things? 398 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:21,251 [microphone feedback] 399 00:14:21,295 --> 00:14:25,168 All right. 400 00:14:25,212 --> 00:14:28,171 [playing "My Favorite Things"] 401 00:14:28,215 --> 00:14:33,829 ♪ 402 00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,657 - Are we in E minor here? - Yeah. 403 00:14:35,700 --> 00:14:37,920 - Yeah, now we're flying. 404 00:14:37,964 --> 00:14:43,143 ♪ 405 00:14:43,186 --> 00:14:44,361 - Take it easy, man, relax. 406 00:14:44,405 --> 00:14:46,276 - This is how I relax. 407 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:53,544 ♪ 408 00:15:00,812 --> 00:15:02,336 [piano clangs, glass shatters] 409 00:15:02,379 --> 00:15:03,685 [all murmuring] 410 00:15:03,728 --> 00:15:06,906 [quirky percussive music] 411 00:15:06,949 --> 00:15:10,083 ♪ 412 00:15:12,476 --> 00:15:12,868 . 413 00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:15,392 - What a fun surprise that was, dueling pianos, 414 00:15:15,436 --> 00:15:16,785 but with one piano. 415 00:15:16,828 --> 00:15:18,526 I guess our lives can be overtaken by chaos 416 00:15:18,569 --> 00:15:21,050 at any moment, which is why the free clinic is so important, 417 00:15:21,094 --> 00:15:24,184 so please keep your donations coming. 418 00:15:24,227 --> 00:15:25,272 Peace. 419 00:15:26,055 --> 00:15:28,014 Jack, a piano fight? 420 00:15:28,057 --> 00:15:29,102 Can you please hold it together? 421 00:15:29,145 --> 00:15:30,059 You're being really immature. 422 00:15:30,103 --> 00:15:31,626 - Chase is being immature. 423 00:15:31,669 --> 00:15:33,933 - Well, maybe, but I'm talking to you right now. 424 00:15:33,976 --> 00:15:35,978 - Yeah, okay, well, I hope you're gonna talk 425 00:15:36,022 --> 00:15:37,240 to him about it too, you know. 426 00:15:37,284 --> 00:15:39,068 Actually, there he is. Hey, Chase, Chase, 427 00:15:39,112 --> 00:15:40,896 Meredith has a--yeah. 428 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:43,377 - Hey, babe. 429 00:15:43,420 --> 00:15:45,857 - That's really loud in my ear. - Oh. 430 00:15:45,901 --> 00:15:47,947 Did you see that? - Yeah, she saw it, man. 431 00:15:47,990 --> 00:15:49,426 She saw it, and she was just talking about 432 00:15:49,470 --> 00:15:51,124 how immature you were being. 433 00:15:51,167 --> 00:15:52,168 - Yeah, well, you're the most immature person I've ever met, 434 00:15:52,212 --> 00:15:54,692 and I've met tons of babies. 435 00:15:54,736 --> 00:15:57,173 - I just can't believe you helped out in Haiti, 436 00:15:57,217 --> 00:16:00,002 Myanmar, and Guam all within the same year. 437 00:16:00,046 --> 00:16:02,874 I didn't know there were any quality single guys left. 438 00:16:02,918 --> 00:16:05,094 - Well, that's why I'm still single. 439 00:16:05,138 --> 00:16:08,968 I haven't stayed in one place until now. 440 00:16:09,011 --> 00:16:11,535 - Whew, I just got a sensual swell. 441 00:16:18,020 --> 00:16:19,369 - Take off your shoe. 442 00:16:19,413 --> 00:16:21,197 - Oh, okay. That's what you're into? 443 00:16:21,241 --> 00:16:24,070 - Yeah, I want to see those little foot fingers. 444 00:16:24,113 --> 00:16:26,246 - Hmm? You don't call them toes? 445 00:16:26,289 --> 00:16:28,683 - I want to dress those naughty little piggies. 446 00:16:28,726 --> 00:16:29,858 - Excuse? 447 00:16:29,901 --> 00:16:32,469 - I'm into toe clothes. 448 00:16:33,644 --> 00:16:36,038 You know, a little, you know, double-breasted suit 449 00:16:36,082 --> 00:16:37,605 for your big toe, like, you know, 450 00:16:37,648 --> 00:16:40,434 and then a little fun summer dress for the ladies, 451 00:16:40,477 --> 00:16:42,218 you know, summertime, and then, you know, 452 00:16:42,262 --> 00:16:43,915 something that you would wear to a funeral 453 00:16:43,959 --> 00:16:45,004 or something like that or-- 454 00:16:45,047 --> 00:16:46,657 - Okay, you know what? 455 00:16:46,701 --> 00:16:50,009 I'ma give you my number, but stay away from my belly button. 456 00:16:50,052 --> 00:16:51,053 - Fair enough. 457 00:16:51,097 --> 00:16:55,101 - Ehh...okay, I have to pee. 458 00:16:55,144 --> 00:16:59,061 My bladder is too small to be partying this much. 459 00:17:03,761 --> 00:17:04,893 Wait. [sniffs] 460 00:17:04,936 --> 00:17:06,590 What the hell? 461 00:17:06,634 --> 00:17:11,204 Hey, why is this planter full of gin? 462 00:17:11,247 --> 00:17:14,555 - Okay, enough with the witch hunt. 463 00:17:14,598 --> 00:17:16,035 It was me. 464 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:18,428 I've been faking. 465 00:17:18,472 --> 00:17:20,648 I'm sorry. I guess I'm just not ready 466 00:17:20,691 --> 00:17:21,866 to do drinking yet. 467 00:17:21,910 --> 00:17:24,695 - No, Victor, we're sorry. 468 00:17:24,739 --> 00:17:26,045 [together] Yeah. 469 00:17:26,088 --> 00:17:27,089 - You've been such a gracious host, 470 00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:28,743 and how do we repay you? 471 00:17:28,786 --> 00:17:30,136 By peer-pressuring you? 472 00:17:30,179 --> 00:17:31,702 - But you guys haven't. 473 00:17:31,746 --> 00:17:34,966 You've been lovely guests from the beginning. 474 00:17:35,010 --> 00:17:37,230 [together] Aww. 475 00:17:42,017 --> 00:17:44,193 - Victor, it's okay to be scared. 476 00:17:46,804 --> 00:17:48,676 - Give me the shot. - Whoo! 477 00:17:48,719 --> 00:17:50,939 - Yeah. - Do it. 478 00:17:53,159 --> 00:17:55,291 - Live fast. Die young. 479 00:17:55,335 --> 00:17:56,510 - Okay. 480 00:17:57,815 --> 00:17:59,078 - Ahh. 481 00:17:59,121 --> 00:18:01,080 - [groans] 482 00:18:01,123 --> 00:18:02,603 Oh, no. 483 00:18:04,909 --> 00:18:07,477 - E minor wasn't even the right choice for the song. 484 00:18:07,521 --> 00:18:09,610 - Uh, you wasn't even the right choice for the song. 485 00:18:09,653 --> 00:18:10,915 - Okay, enough. 486 00:18:10,959 --> 00:18:12,395 Tonight is about the free clinic. 487 00:18:12,439 --> 00:18:14,267 You guys might not care about it, but I really do. 488 00:18:14,310 --> 00:18:15,703 - All right, look, I kind of feel like I gave her 489 00:18:15,746 --> 00:18:17,487 what she needs, and you weren't able to do that, 490 00:18:17,531 --> 00:18:20,099 so why don't we just shake hands and you admit that I won. 491 00:18:22,275 --> 00:18:25,104 - Excuse me. Excuse me. Pardon me. 492 00:18:25,147 --> 00:18:26,409 - Victor? - Oh, God. 493 00:18:26,453 --> 00:18:28,063 - I've got to pee. Oh. - [gagging] 494 00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:30,892 - What are... - Wait, is that Victor? 495 00:18:30,935 --> 00:18:32,067 - Ohh. - Excuse me. 496 00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,242 - Who are all these kids? 497 00:18:33,286 --> 00:18:34,417 - Ohh! - Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 498 00:18:34,461 --> 00:18:36,158 - Are they drunk? - Move, move. 499 00:18:36,202 --> 00:18:37,594 - Wait, there are students here? 500 00:18:37,638 --> 00:18:39,030 - Oh, my God. We've got to bounce. 501 00:18:39,074 --> 00:18:40,597 - Uh-uh, I'm not going down for this. 502 00:18:40,641 --> 00:18:42,251 - Jack, please tell me that we are not holding this 503 00:18:42,295 --> 00:18:43,513 fund-raiser at one of your student's houses. 504 00:18:43,557 --> 00:18:45,080 - Oh, God. - Look, everything-- 505 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:47,474 everything's gonna be fine. 506 00:18:47,517 --> 00:18:49,780 - Panty raid! 507 00:18:49,824 --> 00:18:51,391 Whoo! Yeah! 508 00:18:51,434 --> 00:18:53,871 - Uh... - Whoo! Whoo! 509 00:18:53,915 --> 00:18:55,308 - It is in every '80s movie. 510 00:18:59,355 --> 00:18:59,747 . 511 00:18:59,790 --> 00:19:02,402 - This party's about to get a servin' of Durbin. 512 00:19:02,445 --> 00:19:03,925 Second time's a charm. 513 00:19:03,968 --> 00:19:05,970 - Ralph, no, no, no. This party is not for you. 514 00:19:06,014 --> 00:19:07,885 - See, I knew I wasn't invited. 515 00:19:07,929 --> 00:19:10,018 - This place is a freakin' maze. 516 00:19:10,061 --> 00:19:11,889 - How am I supposed to pee if there are no bathrooms? 517 00:19:11,933 --> 00:19:13,413 - Everyone... - Seriously? 518 00:19:13,456 --> 00:19:14,979 - Excuse me. 519 00:19:15,023 --> 00:19:18,069 Everyone, could I have your attention, please? 520 00:19:18,113 --> 00:19:20,202 Sorry, it--sorry. 521 00:19:20,246 --> 00:19:22,291 It has come to my attention that we don't have permission 522 00:19:22,335 --> 00:19:23,945 to be here, so unfortunately, 523 00:19:23,988 --> 00:19:26,034 we all need to leave immediately. 524 00:19:26,077 --> 00:19:27,209 - You okay, bud? 525 00:19:27,253 --> 00:19:29,559 - I feel great. 526 00:19:29,603 --> 00:19:30,778 Thanks for letting us stay. 527 00:19:30,821 --> 00:19:32,214 You were right. 528 00:19:32,258 --> 00:19:34,434 I was wound too tight, and I needed to let go. 529 00:19:34,477 --> 00:19:37,698 Now I have a crazy party memory. 530 00:19:37,741 --> 00:19:39,874 I've got to go journal this before I black out. 531 00:19:39,917 --> 00:19:41,223 - Whoa, what do you mean, "black out?" 532 00:19:41,267 --> 00:19:42,355 How much did you drink? 533 00:19:42,398 --> 00:19:45,575 - One shot. - One sh... 534 00:19:45,619 --> 00:19:46,968 All right, listen to me. Listen to me. 535 00:19:47,011 --> 00:19:48,796 You're gonna be fine, okay? 536 00:19:48,839 --> 00:19:50,058 - Okay. - All right. 537 00:19:50,101 --> 00:19:51,407 You got a breath mint? - Yeah. 538 00:19:51,451 --> 00:19:53,235 - Yeah, use it. Okay, I'll be back. 539 00:19:53,279 --> 00:19:54,715 - Okay. 540 00:19:54,758 --> 00:19:55,846 - Oh, oh, oh, oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. 541 00:19:55,890 --> 00:19:57,239 Excuse me, guys. Excuse me. 542 00:19:57,283 --> 00:19:58,458 Could I just have your attention, please, 543 00:19:58,501 --> 00:20:00,199 just for one quick second? 544 00:20:00,242 --> 00:20:02,853 It is true that we don't have permission to be here, okay? 545 00:20:02,897 --> 00:20:04,638 But that is mostly my fault, so please don't take it out 546 00:20:04,681 --> 00:20:05,943 on the free clinic. 547 00:20:05,987 --> 00:20:07,510 These guys, they're relying on you. 548 00:20:07,554 --> 00:20:10,992 Your contributions, they keep the lights on and the... 549 00:20:11,035 --> 00:20:15,039 Band-Aids sticky, or whatever else goes on in a free clinic. 550 00:20:15,083 --> 00:20:17,651 You get my point. Look, before you leave, please, 551 00:20:17,694 --> 00:20:21,394 just hit the donation table first, okay? 552 00:20:21,437 --> 00:20:23,396 All right, great, thank you. 553 00:20:23,439 --> 00:20:25,398 Thanks, everybody. 554 00:20:25,441 --> 00:20:26,834 - Thank you, Jack. 555 00:20:26,877 --> 00:20:28,357 Hey. - Hey. 556 00:20:28,401 --> 00:20:30,011 You want to hit the silent auction table with me? 557 00:20:30,054 --> 00:20:31,621 - Yes. - Okay, 'cause I think Jack 558 00:20:31,665 --> 00:20:33,406 probably has to tuck in his friends. 559 00:20:33,449 --> 00:20:35,103 - Ahh-ahh! 560 00:20:35,146 --> 00:20:36,235 - Whoa. 561 00:20:36,278 --> 00:20:38,280 - Now you, lady, punch me in the face. 562 00:20:38,324 --> 00:20:40,282 - Oh, no, no, no, no, I didn't ask her to do that. 563 00:20:40,326 --> 00:20:42,197 That's--that was just gravy. 564 00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:43,067 Come on. Let's go. 565 00:20:43,111 --> 00:20:44,547 I'll--I'll talk to you soon. 566 00:20:44,591 --> 00:20:46,506 All right, all right, easy, tiger. 567 00:20:46,549 --> 00:20:47,507 Get with your friends, Heather. 568 00:20:47,550 --> 00:20:49,596 Wow, she wasn't kidding. 569 00:20:49,639 --> 00:20:51,250 All right, well, time to leave. 570 00:20:51,293 --> 00:20:53,295 Let's get you in some Ubers. What do you say, huh? 571 00:20:56,951 --> 00:20:58,953 - There were five entire garbage bags 572 00:20:58,996 --> 00:21:00,998 stuffed in the bins, Victor. 573 00:21:01,651 --> 00:21:02,913 Did you have a party? 574 00:21:09,355 --> 00:21:11,835 - I know about the affairs. 575 00:21:14,490 --> 00:21:16,927 - Go to your room.